Could you take me on an adventure? Just get away? All these people are going places, they are striving to obtain something. I want to strive to obtain the moment, this moment. Maybe drive to a field and lay down a blanket and just be quiet. We could be together, but we could be silent. Words are destruction. They are folly, madness. They ruin more things than they build. Maybe if we just let our minds wander, we’ll find out what we truly want for ourselves, even if that means packing up that blanket and going our separate ways. I know your worries, you just want someone. Anyone who would raise their hand as soon as you ask that question, but what If I’m hurt too? What if I want to create something from scratch. What if I’m just as lost in this world and I can’t even walk straight myself. We want all these things and we never sit and enjoy what we have in that moment. We never let our minds tell us what we truly want. In silence comes the truth, maybe thats why no one shuts up anymore.
Ever since i moved to this new town it’s been a trip.
Meeting a dude at a party and not being able to go home sure fucking pays off for me.
It was fun at first, i was the only girl in the house, drinking and smoking like it was our job. Doing whatever we could to get by.
But now I find myself trying to survive. Trying to find two jobs for two people who are so lost in their own worlds its not even funny.
I can deal with all that. I can deal with having to grow up.
But its the fact that the dude who brought me here is getting under my skin.
Now I find myself on here, waiting to hear his loud distinctive engine turn onto the street.
Its so fucked up.. He woke up, insisted that I cuddle with him. I’ve been denying him lately though. He wants kisses and hugs, and tries being all cute. Then he gets up. Checks his phone and I knew exactly what was going to happen. He throws on his shoes and gets in his car and drives away to some meeting place for some chick.
Which is cool, honestly. We aren’t dating. I’m just letting him do this to me. I just feel like a little pet he keeps at home for his own pleasure.
While I’m out here trying not to go crazy, trying to start a life, I don’t know.
I’m just fucked.
I was at a airport going to see my first love, I was nervous and literally all the odds were against me.. I met this middle-aged lady who came in the terminal and made everyone she was around uncomfortable. She was being loud, but very friendly. While everyone just wanted to board their planes.
I was all alone, I had never been on a plane before or really out of the state of Indiana. When she found out, she was instantly next to me..
She listened to my story and told me how things work around the airport.
Then her plane had got their earlier than mine.. she got up, walked away then stopped and turned to me and half-way yelled three words that caught me off guard.
“God never fails”
Well now all odds are against me.. so can she remind me again?
it’s always been my wish to marry this kid.
On the outside, I’m over him. I’m fine.
But I’m slowly getting attached to him and I’m stopping it there.
There are plenty of better men, plenty of people who could show me more and love me more,
but you loved me so goddamn much..
but fuck it, you just bring me sadness.
I get upset over the littlest things with you.
You’re not mine, I’m not yours.
Whatever happens with us, bring it on.
I just dont want to hurt over you anymore.